哎呀～我的英文自我介紹勒..幫看一下喔

小弟我最近真是考試連連................一方面要考國家考試

一方面還要準備英文口試...........真的有點心力交瘁

請教一下大家呢～求職遇到的英文自我介紹內容應該跟自傳的不同吧～

往往因為時間短還要切中綱要～我有寫我的英文介紹

可否幫我看一下～哪邊要改進.我想應徵的職缺內容是關於網路產業～謝謝

My name is chris, and I graduated from National Taipei University Technology. My major is information management,
including network management, internet marketing, web service and so on. I really interested in network technology
I always do my job well. To be positive, hardworking and easygoing is my principle of job.

In my past working experience, I was responsible for network configuration, website implement and marketing management. I had learned plenty of knowledge about internet field. As an old saying goes, “no pains, no gains”. I will absorb more network skills to make progress in the future. If I have the opportunity to do this job, I will try my best to enhance the performance of company. I think I can do the job well because I have correct attitude for my job.


這樣有提到學歷跟經歷....不知道行不行？還是要在重點化一點～

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嗯.. ..雞本上..我可以確定那素英文.. ..沒錯........ ..

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請問是求職的英文口試嗎? 你的文章還在文法、用詞、和修辭上都有不少錯誤喔，
這樣的英文程度要不要再加強一下再去面試會比較保險。

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下面是引用kennyin於2008-06-10 18:51發表的 :
請問是求職的英文口試嗎? 你的文章還在文法、用詞、和修辭上都有不少錯誤喔，
這樣的英文程度要不要再加強一下再去面試會比較保險。

可否花點時間指正呢～謝謝你的建議～

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1. My majority is information management
majority的意思是大多數，應該改成 major 主修，

2. I really have great interested in network technology
這句這樣寫不好，要嘛改成
I really interested in network technology
不然就改成
I really have great interest in network technology

3. I always do my best to do job well
這句文法上沒錯，但修辭上是redundancy
宜改成 I always do my best to do the job 或 I always do the job well

4. To be positive, hardworking and easygoing is my principle of job
這句也是修辭的問題
宜改成 My principle of job is to be positive, hardworking and easygoing

5. In the future, As an old saying goes, “no pains, no gains”. I will absorb more network skills to make progress. If I have the opportunity to do this job. I will try my best to enhance the performance of company. I think I can do it because I have correct attitude for my job.

這整段都有問題，而且是大問題，句子的邏輯很怪，令人讀不懂。
首先這句就有問題 In the future, As an old saying goes, “no pains, no gains”.
我的翻譯是在未來，如同古語說....句意實在怪，而且As 的A要小寫

另外If 開頭的子句是不能獨立的，正確文法應這樣寫
If I have the opportunity to do this job, <--改成逗號 後面接主要句子 I will try my best to enhance the performance of
company.

最後是這句 I think I can do it because I have correct attitude for my job.
it 會有指代不清楚的問題，宜把真正的意思表示出來，不宜用代名詞。

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感謝大大的指點喔！我已經修正～

第5點那個錯誤不好意思...寫到一半想到要插入一句成語...結果忘了把in the future 放到最後面

另外請問第4點To be positive, hardworking and easygoing

不定詞不能用來當主詞用嗎？因為我是想強調這三點是我工作的原則～

當然My principle of job is to be positive, hardworking and easygoing 才是對的文法結構

總之非常感謝妳喔！！

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不定詞當然可以拿來來當主詞用，這樣的用法的確是加強語氣，
文法上並無錯誤，但是在修辭學上是不偏好這樣用的。

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哈~我也只能確定是英文^^

我也沒寫過英文自傳^^



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下面是引用kennyin於2008-06-10 20:26發表的 :
不定詞當然可以拿來來當主詞用，這樣的用法的確是加強語氣，
文法上並無錯誤，但是在修辭學上是不偏好這樣用的。

原來如此！很精闢的解說～感謝您

受益良多

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